[TwitUmm] Whinging Umm – http://twum.eu/e1756

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Propagator: Not a crocodile… #uxbridge [sorry i've not posted much lately, back on form soon, i promise]

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If a week is a long time in politics, what is an election campaign?

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I need a hat. A proper hat. One you can doff. You can’t doff a deerstalker. Does anyone know a decent Milliner? Suggestions? #ineedahat

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I need a hat. A proper hat. One you can doff. You can’t doff a deerstalker. Does anyone know a decent Milliner? Suggestions? #ineedahat

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5 a day? Easy! Cider, pear cider, ketchup, strawberry ice cream and banana-flavoured condom. Your diet problems solved! (idea from @0c00l)

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is at the thin end of a complex wedge. I have the wedge in front of me, its quite complicated – it has wires on it.

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just played JFK Reloaded, recreation of the assassination. There’s no Grassy Knoll, nor a shot-himself-by-travelling-back-to-the-past button

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only just realised that “Monkey Island: The Siege of Spinner Cay” is out! Go get it! @lucasartsgames – why didn’t you tell me!?!

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Who’s going to get custody of rubberduckzilla now Oasis have split up?

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